I agree with Chuck and I think he is a great leader of our writing group. However, oh oh, don't you hate it when a sentence starts with this word, he has hypersensitized me to "that." I counted at least 19 "thats" and even though this may pale with the use of other words, I have come to realize Chuck is right. In most instances, it is an unneeded word. It doesn't add to the meaning of the sentence and, breaks the smooth rhythm of an otherwise great piece of writing.
As Chuck mentioned, you can witness how the writer's mind is working, it goes off on tangents which, if not controlled, can kidnap your thesis.
Your writing always sends my mind on tangents. As an example, my dwelling on your use of ".that." It reminds me of a priest we had for a long period of time. His sermons were interesting and had a message. However, after a while, I began to realize how many times he used a specific word, over and over. I can't recall which word it was, it is immaterial to my point, which I will get to. I started counting how many times in the sermon he used this word. After the service, I would exclaim to my wife and other parishioners we met weekly out in the vestibule, 16 or 18. Of course, they would stare at me in puzzlement hearing my proclamation. Often, I couldn't recall what the sermon was about because my mind was so focused on his repetition.
So a tribute to Grammarly. I went and looked at yesterday's post while the coffee is brewing. I had a significant set (12 comments) that required looking at. While some I ignored, there were many good reminders, like the overuse of really. They were addressed and reposted. I might even try reading it out loud but for now, I am going to embrace the recalcitrant hs student in me.
John -- thanks. It is interesting because I originally had this post and the next as one and they were entirely too long. Yesterday I split them in two and it felt clunky to me but I decided it was good enough. Yesterday's post was one that I was not real comfortable with. The funny thing is I edited and cut and pasted heavily just prior to posting. I am going to take a look at it today while I get my tires changed.
"I hope to try and personalize my posts going forward with a 'why this topic.' ” I think this is a great idea...not so much for us but for you. However, for us, I think it will be interesting for the reader to see how the writer's mind works on every single topic. Explaining what prompted the idea, be it an incident throughout the day or something more emotional from reflecting on life, I think you've made a solid decision and will likely keep you writing longer. Very cool, Mark.
I agree with Chuck and I think he is a great leader of our writing group. However, oh oh, don't you hate it when a sentence starts with this word, he has hypersensitized me to "that." I counted at least 19 "thats" and even though this may pale with the use of other words, I have come to realize Chuck is right. In most instances, it is an unneeded word. It doesn't add to the meaning of the sentence and, breaks the smooth rhythm of an otherwise great piece of writing.
As Chuck mentioned, you can witness how the writer's mind is working, it goes off on tangents which, if not controlled, can kidnap your thesis.
Your writing always sends my mind on tangents. As an example, my dwelling on your use of ".that." It reminds me of a priest we had for a long period of time. His sermons were interesting and had a message. However, after a while, I began to realize how many times he used a specific word, over and over. I can't recall which word it was, it is immaterial to my point, which I will get to. I started counting how many times in the sermon he used this word. After the service, I would exclaim to my wife and other parishioners we met weekly out in the vestibule, 16 or 18. Of course, they would stare at me in puzzlement hearing my proclamation. Often, I couldn't recall what the sermon was about because my mind was so focused on his repetition.
Keep up the great writing.
So a tribute to Grammarly. I went and looked at yesterday's post while the coffee is brewing. I had a significant set (12 comments) that required looking at. While some I ignored, there were many good reminders, like the overuse of really. They were addressed and reposted. I might even try reading it out loud but for now, I am going to embrace the recalcitrant hs student in me.
John -- thanks. It is interesting because I originally had this post and the next as one and they were entirely too long. Yesterday I split them in two and it felt clunky to me but I decided it was good enough. Yesterday's post was one that I was not real comfortable with. The funny thing is I edited and cut and pasted heavily just prior to posting. I am going to take a look at it today while I get my tires changed.
"I hope to try and personalize my posts going forward with a 'why this topic.' ” I think this is a great idea...not so much for us but for you. However, for us, I think it will be interesting for the reader to see how the writer's mind works on every single topic. Explaining what prompted the idea, be it an incident throughout the day or something more emotional from reflecting on life, I think you've made a solid decision and will likely keep you writing longer. Very cool, Mark.
Thank you so much Chuck. It kinda forces me to have a plan and that is good. That is the reason I have started with the tangent warning also...