The King's Cut

I'll have the Queen's cut and bring four place settings

What is a “serving” of pie?

Recently one of the Newsletters that I enjoy, “Situation Normal by Michael Estrin” lamented the absurdity of a 5-inch pizza. I first just laughed and the delayed reaction was to laugh more and be reminded of two of the everyday observational humor things that I enjoy. One is the “serving size” on so many packages. The other is bold predictions. At least people who make predictions put themselves out there. Serving sizes like a child’s juice box (with integrated straw and NASA-style foil pack) advising that the juice box contains two servings) are just plain dumb.

Predictions & Observations

I am a sucker for predictions. If you are born in Western New York, we continue to wait patiently for “the year of the Buffalo Bills”. Predictions are fun. I like when people go big and bold. Alas, it sure makes it easy to make fun of predictions gone wrong. Here are a couple of prior predictions gone bad:

• In 1950, Associated Press writer Dorothy Roe used what she called “scientific evidence” to predict that by the year 2000, all women would be six feet tall. “Her proportions will be perfect, though Amazonian because science will have perfected a balanced ration of vitamins, proteins, and minerals that will produce the maximum bodily efficiency, the minimum of fat,” she wrote. Women are taller on average nowadays, so Roe wasn’t totally off.

  • Mark’s take: this validates my theory that no one is tougher on women than women.

• “There’s no chance that the iPhone is going to get any significant market share. No chance.” That’s what Steve Ballmer, the CEO of Microsoft said in 2007.

  • Mark’s take: Ballmer now owns the LA Clippers. His path to success tells me that choosing your roommate at college is VERY important (he roomed with Bill Gates). That single act early on has paved a wonderful future for Steve. Microsoft, one of the most valuable stocks in the world, managed to lose nearly 40% of its value during the 14 years with Ballmer at the helm after Gates stepped down. I hope he thinks the Bills cannot win.

• In 1966, Time magazine ran a bold prediction: “Remote shopping, while entirely feasible, will flop—because women like to get out of the house, like to handle merchandise, and like to be able to change their minds.”

  • Mark’s take:: there seems to be a pattern wherein a lot of people don’t understand women.

• In the early 1940s, IBM's president, Thomas J Watson, reputedly said: "I think there is a world market for about five computers." Watson's legendary misjudgment did not prove fatal to his company.

  • Mark’s take: This didn’t seem to affect Watson’s career. Adapting is a great trait. In a prior post below, I point out that the world currently makes more transistors in a year than all the leaves on all the trees of the world. Going big on a prediction is fun. Here’s the whole story if you are interested.

Here Comes the Sun

Servings

I am not much of a label reader. I think I used to be but generally, just don’t buy many processed foods. If I have a taste for something, I just eat it. I have posted enough about my eating habits, so no segue tonight. Providing labels on food seems worthwhile to me and certainly well-intentioned. My favorite part of the whole gig is noting how many servings are in the package at hand. That is when the silliness begins I am afraid. As a diabetic, being aware of my carb intake is about the only thing I need to be careful about so the label is mostly a benefit on that.

Since the inspiration for the post was a mini-pizza, I thought starting there would be fun. I just looked at a pack of frozen pizzas. A 12” pizza guides that the serving size is 1/4 of a pizza. I won’t bore you with the math but 1/4 of a 12” pizza is the same as eating one 6” pizza. I am not sure anyone is selling 6” pizzas. How many of you pop a frozen pizza in the oven and then are THRILLED that you have dinner covered for today and the next three nights? Just so you can get some perspective, imagine popping in a pizza when three dear friends drop by. Give each of them half a can of Coke and dinner is covered. Make sure they know you are serving dinner so they don’t spoil their appetite. Thank you very much!

I happen to own an air popper for popcorn. I am in the minority I am afraid. What is the appeal? My dog goes absolutely crazy when I plug it in. He knows some will tumble off the rim and head for the floor. It has become harder and harder to find popcorn in a container or a bag for popping. Most everyone migrated to microwave popcorn. So a bag of microwave popcorn (individual bag) contains 2 1/2 servings according to the label. A pattern is emerging. Next time it is movie night for you and your four friends, pop two bags and mete out half a can of 7-Up. One of you gets to splurge and drink a WHOLE CAN. Enjoy the movie.

Now it is time for a bit of enduring the pompous coastal dwellers. One of my sons lives and works in Omaha, Nebraska. While coastal cities might think they have cornered the market on the steak experience, it is hard to imagine a place like Omaha exists when it comes to the experience. Those inane “best of” lists assure us that steakhouses on the Eastern seaboard have mastered the art of steak. Perhaps they have mastered the secret of fire in ways others remain flummoxed? It certainly can’t be the meat as I imagine it is Midwestern-aged beef and frozen to boot and prepared fresh from the truck. Here’s a typical menu from a well-known midtown steakhouse. Don’t miss out on the $18 tater tots. The midwest in general and Omaha, in particular, have mastered the steak experience. Now that I have experienced Omaha, I think a trip to the coasts means I should just look for places that serve $150+ steak experiences that note in small type they serve Omaha beef. What all steak houses have in common is no one is serving meat four ounces at a time. Ah those dang serving sizes.

Time to explain today’s title. While the experience is dying out, the Midwest is dotted with old-fashioned “Supper Clubs”. Most of these places have a prime rib special on weekend nights served with an old-fashioned relish tray and a baked potato akin to a softball. In such places, we return to the 1950s and 1960s, with paneling on the walls and perhaps some crushed velvet on the chairs. The originals are often located in rural areas. The new posers are trying to capture the nostalgia. I imagine that the new ones will move toward some modernization and become more politically correct. The older ones often present the prime rib as queen’s cut or king’s cut. Both are equally absurd in their offering. Here is a link if the term is new to you. The first one I ever experienced is shown below. They have never followed the guidance of 4 oz is a serving of meat. One of my favorite jokes about Midwestern supper clubs is that if you order the “King’s Cut” of prime rib, it should most properly be served on a gurney. I heard a recent radio profile about the re-emergence of the Supper Club. Apparently, a location is opening in St. Paul that will be a “Palm-Springs Style Supper Club”. The profiler concluded that mostly means a supper club with more shrimp. If I make it there I hope the rat pack will be playing in the background. When I profiled this upcoming post at my creative writing group, one of the guys advised that Supper Clubs originated in rural areas and often meant bring your own bottle. Now that sounds fun.

This is Wiederholt’s in Miesville. MN. A throwback, indeed

All of this food talk has made me hungry. Time to check out and enjoy some music and decide what to eat. I am a firm believer in the admonition that life is short, eat dessert first. Here’s a tune that thought inspires. Alas, if the song makes your mouth water and your travels bring you to the Midwest, here is a safe spot to satisfy the urge. A rather non-descript stop along the interstate that serves wonderful pie. Reminds me of Twin Peaks.